the thing is like. i get that it’s scary and makes people who do desire to get pregnant uncomfortable when we talk about the brutality and violence of pregnancy and the damage that pregnancy can do to your body
but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.
the lies around pregnancy - that it’s inherently safe, that it doesn’t do you permanent damage, that it’s only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like
all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that
there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are
but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo
this is a process that permanently changes most people’s bodies, and that’s even if the pregnancy doesn’t do them like. severe illness or injury
and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that
bc to live in a society that intentionally obscures and hides facts about a completely optional and dangerous process does so for a reason, and that reason is based in a very sinister ideology that does not value bodily autonomy or informed consent
the number of people who are pregnant and don’t know about what induced labour entails and what post partum bleeding is horrifies me
Here is a story about the depths to which pregnant people are seen as a vessel for a baby, and the importance of finding prenatal care that assumes you are a human and not a baby holder:
When I was pregnant I was in a million forums for pregnant people because (cough adhd hyperfixation) and I had something called SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) (not Sensory Processing Disorder though I also have that) which is where your pubic bones separate early (more or less) because they get all loosey goosey as your body gets ready to crank that baby out.
Except my pubic bone got confused and got misaligned at like 3 months pregnant. I could barely walk. I couldn’t roll over in bed. Doing something that required me to shift my weight from one foot to another like opening a door knob was like an excruciatingly painful knife being stabbed into my pubic bone, I can’t express how intense and blinding it was.
So I am in one million baby forums like “am I dying what is happening why is there a knife in my pubic bone” and all these people are like “I have that too! my doctor says it’s normal and not to worry because it doesn’t hurt the baby. I just deal with it by laying in bed for months in excruciating pain and think about how lucky I am to be having a little miracle growing in my body.”
So lol nope. I went to my midwife and they are like, “Oh squeeze a can between your knees look up a physical therapy youtube on SPD” and I did that can-squeeze thing and it CURED THE PROBLEM in ONE DAY. I had been SUFFERING, y'all, it felt miraculous.
And I was so full of rage (flames, flames on the side of my face) that people are being told “Oh, it’s NORMAL just deal with it” “It doesn’t hurt the baby.” Like, look, yes it’s NORMAL but it’s 100% treatable!!! SPD (again, not Sensory processing disorder) affects 1 in 5 pregnant people.
I was lucky to have amazing midwives (need a gender neutral term for that profession, but they see pregnant men and women)(side note highly recommend midwives if you are gender nonconfirming/a man/etc) and I have DOZENS of examples of shit like this.
(Another example is post partum friends being like “oh I am peeing my pants 900x day after giving birth” and my doctor says it’s NORMAL so I just dealt with it for decades. My midwives were like “Oh that’s normal and also physical therapy cures that in like 2 sessions”)
When my sister was looking to get pregnant she was given the best advice. She was told that being pregnant is an experience akin to being in a moderate sized car crash, in terms of risk and lasting injury.
Some people in moderate car crashes are very lucky, and walk away with zero injury. Some are very unlucky, and die. But most people fall into the third category, where they’ll be injured at the time, then heal, and then for the rest of their life they have some minor and liveable complication from the injury. Like a knee that lets you know when the rain is coming, or a back that doesn’t like seats without lumbar support, or a shoulder that never quite gets its full range of motion back.
The vast majority of people survive and thrive, like. But their body is never the same again. And people should know that when they make the choice of whether to put their body through that or not
if you have a boyfriend and you start liking another guy you dont actually have to break up. basically you can put the first boyfriend in the bathroom and close the door, and then bring the second guy into the house and let them get used to each other’s smells through the door. if you supervise them for the first couple weeks, they should eventually get along or at least not kill each other while youre away.
Unpopular opinion: All games should have the option to enable pausing.
And to save almost everywhere.
Yes even in soulslike games.
I am an adult who has a full time job and responsibilities. I get to play maybe an hour a week. I do not want to lose that hour of progress because devs decided ‘pause’ was not allowed in their game and I had sudden unexpected things come up that meant I had to quit the game without saving/leave it playing and hope enemies wouldn’t respawn.
Also it would massively increase accessability. I have fully working non-injured hands and they still need a break after a tough boss fight. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for people with joint pain, arthritis, etc, etc.
